Bad Toys

Good people, I’m so glad you’re here tonight. But please, just a fewwords of caution. Now, we are going to set this pile of evil ablaze,but because these are children’s toys, the fire will spread quickly, soplease stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes.

(Because there is no blog posting that cannot be improved with a Simpsons quote.)

In what could be used as the Mad-Libs of Products Liability exams, this year’s Ten Worst Toys list has been announced.  Among the highlights:

• “Heelys” — those weird shoe/skate combinations, which apparently include this delightful warning: “”There is no way to heel and/or grind without running the risk of SERIOUS BODILY HARM, including head injury, spinal injury, or even death.”  No, I don’t know what it means to “grind” in this context.
• “Fear Factor Candy Challenge” — In addition to being simply nasty, this product, which includes “mystery meat,” has (according to the rating group) the possibility of encouraging eating contests, since the show evidently has eating contests.

…and eight others.  Enjoy.

Update: It’s worth noting, incidentally, that the group putting the list together was founded and is directed by Edward Swartz, who is a plaintiff-side products liability lawyer who specializes in (among other things) child safety suits.  I don’t know if he has any suits pending related to the toys identified on the list.

(via Consumerist.)